Miriam Rose

2009-04-14T15:54:00.000-07:00

Bwaa! Whoda thunk? I actually can change my own background!!

A Pedicure on a Rainy Day

2009-04-14T14:43:00.000-07:00

Ok, so for all of you who are sick of my background, I'm sorry, but I officially do not know how to change the background by myself. All the changes that have ever happened to my blog are thanks to Tiffany and Lacey :D

Today I am in Lehi, Utah sitting at a computer in Dave and Lindsey's house. It's slightly surreal to have this time in a quiet house with relaxed people after such an eventful semester.

I was talking to my mom yesterday while Ruth got a haircut. After finding out Mom still hasn't read Cheaper by the Dozen (one of the singularly funniest, cutest books ever written), I said,
"Mom! Why are we talking? You need to go read that book right now, and you'll just love it so much and we'll have so many more inside jokes!"
"Miriam, you're back!"
I was not expecting this exhuberant reply from her. I was a little confused until she explained that she could just tell I was on vacation, and finally relaxed.
This made me glad that I was myself, and sorry I had spent time not being myself. I knew what she meant though.
"It's not that you haven't been yourself, but you've just been Miriam during finals, or Miriam with a job, or Miriam doing school--and all those are different from the relaxed, regular Miriam." My mom explained. I then decided I wanted to be better at relaxing.
I don't know exactly what it is, but something in our culture has greatly crossed the boundaries between relaxing and being idle. For example, a familiar sense of guilt started twisting in my stomach after spending about 3.4 minutes looking for a new background I liked for my blog. And all day I've been wondering if I should feel bored or unproductive for just painting my nails, watching a movie, and talking to Lindsey and Evelynn. But I don't think I should feel guilty. Is there anything wrong with not having every minute of the day scheduled? In general I prefer to have my time planned and filled, but I think there is value in knowing how to relax and fill time with simple things.
I don't know exactly what this value is, but it makes sense that having time when you are not being constantly distracted or occupied is healthy.
Thoughts?

brotherly conversation

2009-01-19T10:42:00.000-08:00

Morgan and I were talking on the phone Sunday night, just as I was about to write an e-mail for this chain. I asked him what I should write about. He proposed I write everything I'm experiencing right now.
-"No, no one wants me to just dump my whole life on them, that would not be beneficial for me or them."
-"Why not?"

And thus began a rather profound conversation.

While it is true that divulging every emotion I've experienced in the past week would not be particularly productive, Morgan and I discovered that people are much to quick to judge and label other people's trials. An unwritten law governs our responses to other people's woes: if your problems include phyisical abuse, suicide, a terminal illness, racial discrimination, genocide, frostbite, malnutrition, bankruptcy, and sometimes divorce, you automatically qualify for unconditional sympathy and justification for pain.

This is greatly frustrating to those of us who grapple with everyday pains. Apparently crying children, insensitive boyfriends/girlfriends, stressful schoolwork, forgotten birthdays, lack of friends, and sick Grandmothers may or may not make it on the list. The amount of sympathy one deserves for these things depends on the listener. And even if the particular person you are talking to is more understanding than most, there is a voice in your conscience nagging to "just get over it" because life could be a lot worse, and how can you cry over a rebellious teenager when there are parents who can't even have children? Aren't their problems worse? Aren't you undermining their pain by feeling your own (inferior) sadness?

This is a cruel falsehood. My Mom once said that even if the situation isn't credible, or the logic nonsensical, feelings are still real. Who are we to decide how much pain others should or shouldn't feel? It is impossible to even know exactly what others are feeling. So where do we get authority to compile a list of "real" tragedies? Who are we to tell others how much pain they should or should not be experiencing?

At this point in the conversation Morgan said,
-"What, and just listen to each other?"
-"Well no! I wouldn't go that far, I mean come on, do you mean be compassionate or something?"

We both started laughing. We both know there is more seriousness than humor.

What if we did just listen? How much easier it would be to hear about other people's problems! How simple it would be to just feel sorry for them and love them. A child cries over spilled milk because they have never had a parent die in a car accident. So to them, spilled milk is a real problem. Is it right to judge them for not going through something worse yet? And if they are really sad about the lost beverage, why should we try to convince them that their feelings aren't credible? Pain is a completely personal experience. Since humans are given zero capability to feel someone else's exact emotions, we should never rate or prescribe someone else's anguish.

In practice, this principle would allow us to love and accept each other, not feel as burdened by other's hardships, and more readily communicate honest feelings.

Thanks Morgan.

Thinking while warm

2008-12-22T21:25:00.000-08:00

So this is me being peer-pressured into writing on my blog. Compliments to Lacey:) And thanks to her it actually looks like I visit my own blog once in a while. I am loving Christmas season. Right now I am sitting in a nice warm house after a day of shopping basking in the glow if Christmas tree lights.

Today I decided to not think about presents anymore. I really would rather spend the last few days before Christmas in other ways besides mentally going over all the people I still need to buy presents for over and over. I am tired of stressing out with other people about who got who what, and if so-and-so will notice that their grand total of presents adds up to half as much money as their brother's. What would Christmas be like with no presents? Would it detract from or add to the "Christmas spirit?" Would we still find ways to show our love to each other, or become more self-focused? I think the absence of materialism would be the main effect. Cause really, if we subtracted all the shopping, asking, wrapping and financing out of Christmas time, what would be left? A whole bunch of time with family. A lot of vacation with less to do, and more time to think. Just once a year, a couple weeks dedicated to feel the importance of Christ visiting the earth in mortality. A few precious hours to comprehend what it means for God to send His son to us. I want this. Thankfully, I believe we can do this inspite of all the presents and shopping. It's a little harder, but completely worth it.

Trite topic? Yes. But the realization is revolutionary for me.

From the Andrews' Kitchen

2008-12-19T14:31:00.001-08:00

I know everyone is really excited because it looks like Miriam is actually posting on her blog. It's a hoax though because this is Lacey. I'm updating for her so she can actually get used to posting. She's pretty much standing right here. I'm the one posting because I'm sick and dying at the kitchen table and she's baking cookie and brownies with Esther and Angel. Basically I'm here supervising :)

Miriam did nothing extremely exciting today. She made it home to San Marcos safely, without a single mishap. She visited with her aunt and uncle and cousins, studied her scriptures, tucked me into bed because I was dying, and went for a run.

Just now she put the butter in the oven to melt it (because the microwave is broken) and forgot about it. It's pretty funny. I wonder how many more adventures will happen in the kitchen today with Miriam at the helm?

but wait! there's more

2008-11-16T22:38:00.000-08:00

hahahahahaha! That's what happens when you don't blog often. I totally just accidently posted the following post on Hyrum's super-intellectual-only-say-smart-researched-political-things-why-did-you-invite-your-silly-little-sister-on-this-prestigious-discussion-network-thing. (Yes, I do believe that is the official title. So now all the nice men that are debating the condition of the Cambodian government can also contemplate why a little girl may or may not feel secure writing on her own blog.

ok, I'll admit, if stuff this funny happens on blogs often, it's worth it

I know, I know...

2008-11-16T22:37:00.001-08:00

So I don't want to cause anyone a heart attack, but I'm actually posting on my blog! Nevermind that I should have been in bed twenty minutes ago. What else is a blog for, if not to be a productive excuse for using time on things besides sleep?You can thank Ruthie for this post though. She made me want to again. And it also helped that I actually finally remembered how to post! Not that you have any reason to believe me, but I actually did try to post a couple times before, but could not for the life of me figure out how, and so I would distract myself with other people's blogs until I ran out of time or attention. Tonight I discovered that you must first sign in. So if there are any other poor lost bloggers out there, who would post if they knew how, there ya go ;) At the expense of my pride, I just answered the question you were too afraid to ask.I think part of the reason it is hard for me to blog is the same reason I get nervous whenever I organize gatherings. A certain flavor of fear settles in my stomach, saying that no one will show up to the event, or even worse, a few will show up and expect a slamming party when really only 2 other people came becasue the hostess just isn't cool enough. As I write, I wonder if I am just writing to myself, or if someone else will really spend the time and energy reading about a young adults struggle with self-confidence. :DI'm not trying to put myself down, just exploring the blogging part of my psyche.Whew. I don't know about you, but that was therapeutic for me. Maybe next time I'll even write about more people than just myself. But for now, I'll go to bed so I can wake up excited for school and work tomorrow...

2008-05-19T20:23:00.000-07:00

Art lesson

2008-05-19T19:58:00.000-07:00

Yesterday my Mom, Dad, Joey, Hannah, Sarah and I were walking across the USD campus. The hot late-afternoon sun poured over the old cream-colored spanish buildings. The flowers competed with the sunshine in brightness. It was such a gorgeous place, Mom thought of a game to help us focus on our gorgeous surroundings rather than the heat. So we all took turns finding beautiful things. The vegetation, architecture, sky and shiny dresses recieved the most notice. As we crossed the last plaza toward the entrance to our destinanation, I saw Dad waiting for us. We were late (imagine that) and though his long strides had easily surpassed ours, he stood patiently waiting for the rest of the family to catch up. I looked at him standing there, staring over the heads of a hurrying crowd passing him to enter, and said, "That is beautiful."

A big family requires an un-maginable amount of waiting. I saw it as the beautiful art it is yesterday. Thanks Daddy.

second post....?

2008-05-16T22:03:00.000-07:00

Are you supposed to think of a creative new title for absolutrly every post?! thats a bit of a tall order in my book. Anyway, I do enjoy having this blog. Something gives me the sneaking suspiscion that I'm pretty much the only one who reads it, but that would be my fault for not updating it regularly and telling people about it.

So do I bear my soul to myself online or pretend I have a real audience? I definitely do not want to waste anyone's time, including mine, so I won't keep my blog to merely expression: throwing communication out the door. I actually feel kinda funny because all my other siblings who have blogs have families, and keep their's posted with lots of cute pictures of their honeys and babies or both. This is just me. And I'm not really saying anything about my life or keeping you updated on events, I'm just rambling. So you can browse through the Andrews' family blogs and say, "What marvelous spring cleaning!" and "Isn't her wedding dress adorable?" or, "I just think that's so sweet how they did this as a couple!" And then come to mine and say, "Wow, a lot of words and not much pictures. Miriam must have forgotten how to post pictures on her blog, even though Tiffany showed her more times than she'll admit, I guess spme technological things are kinda like dancing for her, it just takes her a couple more tries than it does everyone else to learn, and in between trying to know and knowing, there's a lot of space she fills with other moves or words..."

Anyway, that little dialogue from your head I just voiced for you pretty much sums up my trepidations about blogging. Now I'm imagining that even though i don't have a darling family share, my witty writing will enthrall my readers and make up for it. Hmmm....that thought is probably best kept in my imagination. Maybe I should actually just put something useful or interesting here, for those of you who are still reading.

my very first posty!

2008-04-19T12:47:00.000-07:00

So here is my very first post for a brand new blog. I think I want some pictures. you know they say one of those is worth a thousand words. talk about efficiency...